Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
