i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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