i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize