I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
