Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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