Pappa wants mamma naked
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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