Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
