Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
