i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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