we have officially lost it.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
