I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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