Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
