It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I currently don't understand fingers.
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