What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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