oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
