I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
