he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
