i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We are two peas in an std pod
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
