went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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