people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
