She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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