I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
