i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
