I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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