I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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