you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
