mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
