it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
