forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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