Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize