They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
