And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
