Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
