I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
