let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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