ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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