I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
