He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
