You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
