dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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