Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm jealous of your bromance
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
