i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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