It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
