I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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