Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
thus making me awesome and them whores
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
