Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
