A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
