Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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