Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
