The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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