ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize