I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
