I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize