I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
