one two three fourrrrnication!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
