My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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