i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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