So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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