Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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