I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He felt like a one man threesome
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Couch. On fire.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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