i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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