he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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