i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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