opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize