Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
