I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
