My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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