Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
