i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
