I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
