the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
