why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
