He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
