haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This house was built for laser tag.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
